5 Stupid Moments in Video Games – Gaming no be smart.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned before (I’m too lazy to look through my posts to find it) that video games are a great medium for creating whatever the hell you want.  Fancy a cooking game in which you’re an elephant chef plotting world domination through amazing cuisine?  You could probably make that.  Somehow.  Having said that, just because you can doesn’t mean you should.  Here are 5 games that decided on including something bizarre and out of place.

Is this as weird as the internet’s reaction to finding out he has nipples?

Oh, and spoilers obviously.

Assassin’s Creed 2 – Fist Fighting the Pope

Assassin’s Creed 2 (2009)

This is generally considered to be the best in the series (although I preferred Black Flag) as it refined the previous game and removed the tedious bits but hadn’t quite reached the level of feature creep of the later games.  As Ezio (and sometimes Desmond) we murder our way around renaissance Italy to find the piece of Eden that can control people’s minds.  Or something to that effect anyway.  At any rate, the magical McGuffin ends up in the hands of a bad man who has become Pope!

Doesn’t exactly make the most intimidating opponent really.

Cue a final boss battle to prevent the evil Pope’s dreams of world domination by punching a fat old man in the face repeatedly.  After all that had come before, it was something of an anticlimactic final confrontation.  If they’d played it for laughs then they might have gotten away with it, but instead it was done with all the gravitas of any other final boss confrontation.  The cutscene afterwards was confusing (although fairly cool if you were into the overarching plot) and the whole thing felt a bit of a let down.  At least they didn’t have him summon Jesus for a final beatdown.

Final Fantasy X – Tidus Laughing

Final Fantasy X (2002)

I couldn’t not include this.  Whilst at this point in the game, FFX was fairly light-hearted, this seemed completely out of place.  Tidus is told to laugh at the ocean for reasons. And laugh he does!  With the most painful fake laugh in the history of mankind.

I’m sure I read somewhere that this scene comes across better in the Japanese version of the game.  But that doesn’t matter to me.  This was cringey and painful.

999 – Elevator Sex

Yep, you read that right.  999 is basically Saw with time travel (sort of…it’s complicated).  9 people are trapped in a sinking boat full of numbered doors and potential for nasty, violent death.  As our hero and his newly found comrades explore their seafaring prison the find themselves occasionally split up from the rest of their group.  Our hero and his childhood friend find themselves alone and contemplating exploring the lower decks via an elevator.

This is how it starts. Seems pretty harmless to begin with.

At least that’s what it’s meant to be (and in fact is).  But due to some extremely painful miscommunication, our character thinks that his friend is propositioning sex in an elevator.  “Down there… I’d get soaking wet…” June says with Junpei assuming she means something other than the elevator traveling down to a flooded deck.  It felt like such a bizarre scene in an otherwise pretty serious game.  It stuck out like a sore thumb to me.

Mass Effect 2 – Mordin Singing

Mass Effect 2 (2010)

Out of place or not, this was just brilliant.  Mordin is a seriously successful Salarian Scientist (say that after 3 pints!) who is added to your crew part way through the game.  Pretty handy in a fight and always on hand to do offer insight whilst Garrus is busy calibrating everything, he apparently has a soft spot for singing.  Gilbert and Sullivan songs in particular.

Press him enough and he sings.  And boy is it funny.

I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
I’ve studies species turian, asari, and batarian
I’m quite good at genetics as a subset of biology
Because I am an expert which I know is a tautology.

It was completely out of left field for me, and whilst it stood out as an oddity in an otherwise fairly serious game, it was funny (and well done) enough to stand out in a positive way.

Heavy Rain – Press X to Shaun

Heavy Rain (2010)

This is cheating because it’s a glitch but IT’S MY LIST AND I’M CHEATING SO WHAT!  Heavy Rain is a game full of heavy themes.  Self mutilation, childhood trauma, and sexual assault can come into it depending on the routes you take.  All this can be made a whole lot lighter thanks to the Shaun glitch.

SHAUN!

I have no idea how this is triggered, but doing it results in the lead character, Ethan, yelling “Shaun!” every time X is pressed, regardless of the scene he is in.  Driving?  “SHAUN!”  Having a conversation?  “SHAUN!”  Having awkward sex with your new lady friend?  “SHAAAAAAUN!”  It’s utter gold.

What do you think?  Are there any stupid or bizarre moments that you’d like to include?  I almost mentioned what’s hidden in Papyrus’ head in Undertale but I feel it fits into the game pretty well.  How about you?